By The Emperor! Issue #7

Iron Hands FAQ to be Reversed After Results of SoCal Open 2019

NOTTINGHAM, ENGLAND- After receiving the results of the 2019 SoCal Open, it was announced that the Warhammer 40K Rules Team would be reversing the recent Iron Hands FAQ and Errata.

“Honestly, in a lot of ways, everyone on the rules team feels guilty for going too heavy handed on the Sons of Ferrus,” said Adrian Forester, a senior member of the Warhammer 40K Rules team. “We wanted to provide a new and balanced rule-set that that all players could enjoy playing with and against, and we thought we had that balance once we released the post-supplement FAQ. After seeing T’au win an ITC major, it appears we made a mistake, and we need to own up to that.”

Adrian continued, somberly deleting the Iron Hands FAQ files from the Warhammer Community website. “None of us thought this would happen. T’au really haven’t changed since this spring, and seeing a boosted new codex for Space Marines, with different layering supplements adding even more options for players to perform well, we thought there wouldn’t be any chance of anything Xenos or Chaos outperforming Imperium. Clearly, we were wrong, and going on the record as saying we made a mistake.”

“At first we thought it could have been that the new Space Marine rules, while powerful, weren’t enough on their own to make a player win a game, and that 40K was still very much a game of individual skill and some chance luck in the current competitive meta,” explained Adrian. “However, that would mean that either the pilot of a Space Marine army or the Space Marine army itself could be sub-optimal, and that’s something we cannot stand for based on our principles of Imperium being the best.”

Adrian concluded his conversation with BTE! Reporters with the following statements. “Expect an article on Warhammer Community to be released soon, reversing the Iron Hands and Ultramarines FAQ’s. Speaking of Ultramarines, we think that Sergeant Chronos was unnecessarily nerfed as well, so we’re giving Scorpius Whirlwinds the “WHIRLWIND” keyword back, and we’re allowing Chronos to pilot any vehicle Space Marines have access to. Additionally, the Salamanders and Imperial Fists FAQ’s, assuming we release any, will be very sparse. If anything, we will explain that any ambiguous rules interpretations (such as the “Self Sacrifice” stratagem for Salamanders) that have a less powerful or more powerful interpretation, should always be considered the more powerful version of the rule, assuming the benifitting unit has the “IMPERIUM” keyword.”

That’s all the news we have for today! And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!

secondhandhsop

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About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.
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Dakkath
Dakkath
2 years ago

Little late for april 1st, aren’t ya?

Whoosh
Whoosh
2 years ago
Reply to  Dakkath

Every instance of this article is satire.

SaltyJohn
2 years ago
Reply to  Dakkath

First day on the internet? 7 editions into this series of articles and people still think these are real, It’s like a microcosmic analysis of why people still fall for Onion and Babylonbee articles.

Reecius
Admin
2 years ago
Reply to  SaltyJohn

The people that think they’re real is the best part though, hahaha!

Dakkath
Dakkath
2 years ago
Reply to  SaltyJohn

I didn’t “fall” for anything. Frankly I haven’t been keeping up with this series since it’s got a similar name as one of the painting articles and thought they were the same thing.

Reecius
Admin
2 years ago
Reply to  Dakkath

Fair enough, not implying you were not intelligent or anything, it’s just funny when people do think they’re real in the same way the Onion articles are funny.

Matthew W
2 years ago

Best
Article
Yet

Can I sign up for a weekly subscription?

Reecius
Admin
2 years ago

Lol, great stuff per usual!

B. Raven
B. Raven
2 years ago

I laughed after reading this…then paused…then I checked the FAQ page.

SaltyJohn
2 years ago
Reply to  B. Raven

LOL, best comment yet.

Anggul
Anggul
2 years ago
Reply to  B. Raven

That’s what’s scary – How believable it is

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