By The Emperor! Issue #5

Competitive 40K Podcasts and Facebook Groups Nationwide in Outrage On How Overpowered Black Templars Supplement Probably Is

FACEBOOK, INTERNET – In a movement spanning more than 6 different 40K Competitive Facebook groups, and 375 different 40K Podcasts, competitive 40K content creators and their communities expressed outrage over how overpowered the Black Templars Supplement probably is. BTE! Journalists had a chance to speak with 32 yr. old Jared Fink, host of the Ork-centric competitive 40K podcast “Jared’s Finkin’ Cast.

“It’s so incredibly ridiculous, most likely,” explained a very visibly frustrated Jared Fink. “Iron Hands has been a horrific blow to the competitive scene in for the last couple weeks, and what rumors and leaks we’ve had confirmed of Imperial Fists and Salamanders are crazy as well. So take all this, take all the community frustration, and then tell them there might be a Black Templar’s supplement and it might break the game even further? Of course there’ll be a riot!

Jared sighed and continued, after hanging up his framed first and second place GT award certificates, for Ynnari and Castellan Imperium respectively. “It’s really unfair, you know? Some people have spent years building and painting one, perhaps two different armies that aren’t Space Marines, due to their preferences. Also, its because Space Marines’ rules have been ok or lame for almost 8 years so no one wanted to play them. So suddenly they have new ‘good’ rules and everyone wants to play them? C’mon.”

“You have to remember too that there was a time when we as a community got, at best, 1 or two new rules a year, maybe a formation, and then a whole new edition change depending on the year. We’re not equipped as a gamer community to handle an organic, evolving ruleset that allows for variation and addition of rules on a much more absorbable and swift pace. It’s just not in our human makeup to be able to pivot that well.”

“And besides, at the end of the day, does anyone actually enjoy getting new rules for any faction that isn’t theirs? Rules being added to the game means change, and who likes change, honestly? I mean, I haven’t even touched my Necron or Space Wolf ‘deathstar’ armies in what feels like forever. Why don’t the rule designers consider bringing those back? Everyone loved deathstars. They were a good counterbalance to Riptide Wing/Eldar Bike Spam.”

At this point Jared became more incensed, slamming his mug of mountain dew on his desk, almost knocking over his collection of 100 Pink, Blue, and Brimstone horrors. “Man, Black Templars are SO over the top, probably. I mean, they most likely have a way to advance AND charge, which given their trait of rerolling charges just sounds so OP the more I think about it in my head only. And imagine the stratagems they’re gonna have most definitely. How crazy broken are those going to be?

Jared went on a sigh of visible sadness. “I mean, it’s like the game designers don’t want any other factions to be played. It’s just Space Marines vs. Space Marines now, which is so weird because we already had this in the Horus Heresy, so its like are we gearing up for a new Heresy?…..Oh snap, that’s great new content, um, thanks but I have to go. I have to prepare a video announcement to my followers. Please leave my parent’s house the way you came in.”


That’s all the news we have for today! And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!



About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.

2 Responses to “By The Emperor! Issue #5”

  1. ghostvalley October 19, 2019 7:52 am #

    Love the smell of satire in the morning.

  2. Reecius October 19, 2019 8:38 am #

    The bit about the Castellan and Ynnari trophies had my dying, lol!

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