By The Emperor! – Issue #2

Narrative Player With Unpainted, Half-built Army States Competitive Play Is For “Try-Hards” Who Don’t Appreciate the Warhammer Lore.

EUGENE, OREGON — while unpacking his un-primed, half built models for a game, Darryl Roche, a local Warhammer 40k Narrative player went on record as stating that Competitive Play Warhammer 40K was for “Try-Hards” who don’t appreciate the lore.

“It’s really quite obvious,” said Darryl, while organizing his scout marines that would count as assault centurions in campaign mission he was preparing for. “Anyone who tries to take something as awesome and cool as 40K and turn it into a competition can’t possibly understand or connect with the lore on a serious and deep level.” 

“I mean, how can they [competitive players] connect with the characters of the story when they’re so focused on ‘max-minning’, or whatever they call it, all for a quick high and fake fame? It’s absurd,” Darryl continued, while setting up an armless, headless carnifex he briefly confirmed would be his chaplain dreadnaught this game. “We’re actually staying true to the lore, even expanding it! My Space Marines are actually secret survivors of one of the Unknown Legions, who were saved before the Horus Heresy by Magnus, which if you think about it, it really goes to show that he didn’t do anything wrong.”

Darryl declined further to comment further as his narrative game against his opponent Jeff Saltzer was beginning, who was running a proxy T’au army comprised entirely of half painted anime mecha suits.

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4 Responses to “By The Emperor! – Issue #2”

  1. Avatar
    Adam October 5, 2019 5:45 pm #

    Akthually, its a full anime mecha T’au army. get it right, noob!

  2. Avatar
    Yarium October 7, 2019 4:05 am #

    Me: Oh, and what Trait are you using today?

    Them: Well, you see, they realized that they needed to connect with their progenitor chapter better, so even though they were all about keeping their guns in tip top shape, now they’re Ultramarines again.

    • Avatar
      Allium Cepa October 8, 2019 9:22 am #

      As an UltraHand Scars player this doesn’t make sense to me.

  3. Avatar
    Thomas October 15, 2019 3:37 pm #

    The Competitive player at the next table could only sneer at them. He was focused n the lore. How dare these narrative players! The competitive player unpacked his “iron hands battle company”. A captain, a chaplain, 15 scouts a venerable dreadnought, a leviathan dreadnought, and 3 repulsion executioners. The competitive player felt insulted that they could not see how his army bent backwards to be a part of the lore.

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