BIG FAQ Will Ruin 40k Says Gamer Who Hasn’t Played Since 3rd Edition.


It’s not the size that counts.

EMBARRASS, MN – The Warhammer 40k 8th edition BIG FAQ has recently arrived with a thunderous roar, blasting its way across FLGS gaming tables, inciting heated debate on various gaming podcasts, and irrevocably changing the face of this popular, and much-loved game.

Many say the changes reflected in the GW update continue to herald in a period of open communication, company transparency, and a never before present inclination held by GW to actually listen to their player base regarding changes to this great and epic game. These players triumph the decisions implemented by Nottingham, and emphatically claim these rules upgrades have ultimately changed the game for the better.

But not all share in this positive proclamation of good will and sound game design. Many players, not impressed by the current update, have cautioned that such changes are heavy handed and ill placed. They believe these tweaks have been informed by an incredibly small fraction of the player base, resulting in modifications that will negatively impact a player base that wasn’t affected by these imbalances in the first place. They say it will irreparably ruin the game.

One such gamer is Harvey Dinkins.

Harvey in 4th grade before the bitterness set in.

Harvey was born and raised in Embarrass, and is currently the mid shift manager at a local pizza eatery, or “upscale Italian cuisine” as he likes to classify it.

I got nothing.

Harvey affirms that he’s been a stalwart fan of 40k ever since its inception, and holds a lifelong love for the game, and its parent company.

“So, you know, like, I’ve been a fan since 40k rolled out, right? Like, since the beginning. I even helped with the game design, oh yeah. Back in the day, I was talking to Rick. Rick Priestley, you know, and he was trying to come up with names for the main hero army. You know, he was going to call them, ‘Space Tarts,’ or maybe ‘Moon Gorillas’ and I was all, ‘no, bro, you need to call them ‘Space Marines.’ So, he did.”


Suffice to say, Harvey truly loves 40k, and is most displeased by the release of the BIG FAQ, and the effect it will have on the game.

“I totally think it’s going to make certain armies unplayable, like Harlequins, maybe Death Guard and certain Eldar lists, right. Like completely unplayable. Not even worth it. Don’t even build the list because you’re gonna get wiped from the table turn one. Completely.”

Does Harvey think this FAQ might be the start of the game’s ruination?

“Oh, totally. Like, this is the first step. This is ground zero on the demise of 40k. Look at how they’ve ruined it so far: the change to flyers not being able to hold objectives, uh, the limit on Tau Commanders. Mark my words. By this time next year, this game will be dead. No one will be playing it. This FAQ is the catalyst for like, the complete death of 40k. I don’t know who’s running 40k, but they’re driving it straight into the ground. Like, no one plays it, at our shop anymore.”

Despite his grim tidings of unfortunate bearings, Harvey still has hope for the game.

“Like, if GW called me up, and they were all, ‘Hey Harvey, we could use your hand on fixing this game. We hear you have some great ideas.’ I might consider it, yeah, you know. I might do that.”

While Harvey sees himself as a defender of the best interests of 40k, others at Harvey’s FLGS, don’t seem to share the same opinion. We spoke with another regular 40k player who frequents their preferred shop, Billy Kavalli.

“What? Harvey said what? Man, we’ve got THREE leagues going right now, with people waiting to get involved. The game hasn’t been stronger at the shop. New people are picking it up every week. Seriously? Dude, Harvey hasn’t played a game of 40k since third edition. He just kind of weirdly stands over the tables and critiques everything everyone is doing and makes weird noises when he doesn’t agree with something you did. He doesn’t even have a plastic army. It’s still all those ugly little metal pieces.”

Harvey’s Warlord

The local owner of the FLGS also chimed in.

“I think Billy’s right. Harvey’s been coming to the store for three years now, and I don’t think he’s ever actually bought anything 40k from me, and I’m the only store in town.”

We asked Harvey if it was true that he hasn’t played a game since third edition 40k, or recently bought any product.

“Look, whether I’ve played or bought anything is arbitrary. I understand the game and its design. I know how it should be played, and what’s best for the system. I can’t help it if all these GW fanboys won’t hold Nottingham to task for ruining the game.”

We asked if there was any other reasons for this refusal to play.

“Because I’m, you know, protesting GW for their lack of community interaction. Like the abuse certain factions have sustained over time is just abhorrent. I’m going to refrain from playing until GW takes some steps to heal and appease the community, and they can start by making plastic Sisters. When they release plastic Sisters. I’ll return.”

We informed Harvey that GW would indeed be releasing plastic Sisters in the near future.

Coming soon to plastic, Harvey.

“Did you hear ‘Sisters?’ I said ‘squats.’

And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!



About Luftwaffle

If I were the Emperor, Carbs would be my Horus.

29 Responses to “BIG FAQ Will Ruin 40k Says Gamer Who Hasn’t Played Since 3rd Edition.”

  1. Big Mick April 29, 2018 11:55 pm #

    So many Dinkins. I love the constant changes to the meta, having to redesign lists to suit what I think the new meta will look like.

    Haters gonna hate

  2. AngryPanda April 30, 2018 8:26 am #

    I too have met idiots who held positions I didn’t agree with before and have always assumed that they stand for the majority of people who do because that makes perfect sense. The whole “if you don’t play you shouldn’t complain” nonsense is reaching critical mass in this new age of GW cultism as it is the absolute perfect way to shut up anyone. “What you don’t play? Well, how would you know! Oh, you do still play? Well it can’t be so bad can it?”

    • KRQuinn April 30, 2018 3:56 pm #

      I’m pretty sure after years of reading your comments, which the vast majority don’t agree with… including me, that anything you agree with is basically wrong and anything you are against is correct. So based on this logic, this is a great article! I’m convinced that you never play..ever..have never..and thus you are the greatest player and most knowledgeable of all time. I know who you are, and are refute that. Ugh, thought you disappeared on 3++ but now I see you have slithered back into 40k. 🙂

      • AngryPanda May 1, 2018 11:43 pm #

        Considering I came away from the last edition Tau Codex with a “Well I guess that is playable but just barely” before they went and shot everything ever of every table ever and went “Wow those Wave Serpent shields are the best defensive devise ever” before they went and snot everything of every table ever you might be on to something about me being wrong a lot.
        The other thing is just… weird? I never claimed to be a great, hell even a good player, I rarely if ever claim anything is powerfull or not due to my abyssal track record in judging that, see above, and I have a T3 rating, so my decicively average tournament attendances aren’t secret and I must have played the game sometime. Unless I paid an actor to go for me so I guess I can’t absolutely prove it?

    • NinetyNineNo May 1, 2018 9:34 am #

      I mean… I’d say not playing is a pretty damn big hit against the weight of your opinions on the state of the game.

  3. Kitani April 30, 2018 9:01 am #

    What a mean, condescending post! And you think FAQ haters are bitter)
    The author takes someone whose arguments are pretty weak, takes him apart easily, and then states that everyone of the same opinion is just as wrong. Which isn’t true, and his failure to even acknowledge the questionable nature of some of the changes tells that he isn’t as smart as he thinks.

    • Reecius April 30, 2018 9:24 am #

      You understand this is a humor piece, right? And that Harvey Dinkins is not a real person?

      • Ujayim April 30, 2018 9:39 am #

        Objectively, humor can absolutely still be condescending. This is. That just also happens to be the joke.

        • AngryPanda April 30, 2018 9:47 am #

          Yeah, the “hey I was totally just kidding then I ridiculed other people my setting up a silly strawman archetype to compare them to” thing is funny in the same way as pushing someone in the pool is. Yeah, everyone got its a joke. It’s still an ass move.

  4. Luftwaffle April 30, 2018 9:47 am #

    Good thing FLG pays me in dice, or they’d really be getting ripped off. Then again, I’m sure that might be too much as well.

  5. Roshi April 30, 2018 9:51 am #

    Lol, that is unsurprising not a unfamiliar story.

  6. Yarium April 30, 2018 9:52 am #

    I agree with this article (saves me writing a paragraph). However, I can understand people feeling a bit shaken by the big FAQ, especially because it contained points-adjustments so soon after the Chapter Approved article was released. I feel like the money I spent on Chapter Approved was not worthwhile. I can understand someone feeling like their investment into a Core Rulebook is also not worthwhile, as less and less of what you need to play the game is in the Core Rulebook.

  7. Roshi April 30, 2018 10:27 am #

    No one likes a backseat driver. You can take a turn at the wheel or be quiet, is pretty simple

    • AngryPanda April 30, 2018 2:51 pm #

      Yeah. That strawman you just made up seriously needs to shut up. I mean he’s clearly so wrong, being invented to be wrong and all.

  8. Tomguycot April 30, 2018 12:32 pm #

    Oh wonderful, a wall of condescending text. This will surely lead to good healthy debate.

  9. Danny McDevitt April 30, 2018 1:31 pm #

    Man, people need to chill tf out – it’s also okay to have a laugh at yourselves sometimes.

  10. Jesper77 April 30, 2018 2:30 pm #

    Its many things changing not just FAQ. A couple of years ago when you said GW made some good calls on the game you were almost flogged and now its just the opposite. If you think some changes in the FAQ are bad your totaly wrong and your labeled a hater.

    Loving 8th edition, best edition so far. Did I like the latest FAQ? Well I liked about 90% of it.I think they screwed up when they more or less eliminated all DS turn 1 outside your own deployment and when they didnt ”punish” people for cherry picking armies with Allies and instead promoted it by raising CP points on Detachment? I dont think it will make the game more fun and balanced becuase it only rewards already strong armies. TTT chef got it right, you should only be able to use strategems from your WL faction. Also 50% on the table and no movement after DS would have been enough to get on grip with the asssult alpha strike problem. 1 or 2 charges should a ”gunline” be able to handle turn one with boardcontroll and screens.

    Will I stop playing becuase they, imo, screwed up? Ofc not I love the game? Do I hate 8th edition becuase they imo made a blunder in the latest FAQ. No way 8th is by far the best edition. But still think they made some major misses and it wont make the game more fun.

  11. HigglyBear April 30, 2018 7:33 pm #

    Every FLGS has at least 1 of these. Mine has a handful. I just tune them out and let them keep telling me how KoW is better. That’s always a laugh.

    As for the article, I thought it was a humorous way to highlight a common blight within the community. I don’t know why anyone bothers with articles like this anymore. We live in an age of brittle spirits. It’s trendy to be the voice of dissension in the comments section on a webpage.

  12. Roshi April 30, 2018 9:33 pm #

    Agreed. I don’t agree with a couple changes that almost completely invalidated most of my ynnari builds, but I won’t stop playing cause of that. It’s just back to the water shed like any other rule/ codex/ edition change. Jurors things interesting

  13. Laurence April 30, 2018 10:26 pm #

    A bit ill-conceived.

    If you’re going to write a sarcastic and condescending piece, at least make sure it’s well written, or even funny

    • N.I.B. May 2, 2018 12:40 pm #


  14. Bazakahuna April 30, 2018 10:47 pm #

    I bought 40k on release and I bowed out of the game around third edition also! (though I’m not mates with Rick and didn’t name the space marines).

    I came back for 8th Edition and the change in the company is exactly the reason I’m still here and didn’t drift away as when returning for 4th or 5th or 6th or 7th. In fact, after my last aborted return for 7th, I sold all my models from forever… kinda feel stupid now.

    Games Workshop is unrecognizable from it’s previous iterations and I think that’s entirely for the better.

  15. Tony the Tiger April 30, 2018 10:55 pm #

    Thankyou for the laughs. Joke/Head

    Too funny

  16. Codi May 1, 2018 8:34 am #

    What does the author have against white guys who work in pizza eateries??

    • Luftwaffle May 1, 2018 11:37 am #

      I’m just jealous I got fired from one for rubbing black olives all over my arms and face and calling them “barnacle freckles.”

  17. GeekmasterK May 1, 2018 8:41 am #

    I had some people like this in my local community once. They existed only to spread the gospel of Warmahordes and tell people that GW was the literal devil. It made pickup games difficult, since their attitude made me not want to play Warmahordes with them, and many of the new people who came into the community got absorbed into the Church of Privateer Press. I don’t like to accuse anyone of being part of a hive mind, but it was kind of hard not to here with the mentality. It wasn’t until the people who were pushing for “all Warmahordes, all the time” moved away from the area that things started to balance out again. The whole thing left a bad taste in the mouths of a lot of people who had been in our community longer. So, yeah, I can appreciate the humor in this article.

    Also, I don’t see why people are offended by this. If anything, the intent here is to get certain people to laugh at themselves. Take me, for example. I’m a grown man playing with plastic soldiers on a table. Sometimes I make verbal sound effects when rolling the dice, such as “Dakka Dakka Dakka” and “Pew Pew!” I can see the humor in that. For the people who can’t take a joke: “Why so serious?”

    • Luftwaffle May 1, 2018 11:34 am #

      Good Sir, my Custodes also come equipped with various sounds of dakka dakka, pew pew, and various other death rattles when they get wiped off the board. Since these cost neither points or power level, I make sure that each golden warrior vocalizes his death.

  18. TragicMuggler May 1, 2018 6:31 pm #

    I don’t play Warhammer, but I talk about it a lot online and I am truly insulted. Just because I don’t play the game doesn’t mean I haven’t hosted dozens of solo Vassal games where I have picked apart the rules in search of Kubrikian hints at what the designers ACTUALLY were trying to do.

    I’m designing my own game by the way, and you can believe me when I tell you thousands of people won’t be frustrated by my rules! Its going to be incredibly balanced, so balanced that you can just email your list to your opponent and it should be obvious who wins.

    By the way did you know you could shoot at models on other tables in 8th edition?! Technically I think. Doesn’t say you can’t at least, so make sure to put some space between your tables TOs… which I notice isn’t even a stat in the matched play rules. What’s the proper distance between tables? Obviously GW doesn’t care enough to even consider it. Or did you know that Snikrot could infiltrate with a warboss on a bike (not now, but in 5th)? People have been forgetting about that one! There’s so much I need to talk about, but I have to go over the INAT FAQ again and get after yakface for some typos he still hasn’t fixed!

  19. AngryPanda May 3, 2018 2:26 am #

    Can you show us on the Primaris Marine Dolly how Stelek has hurt you?

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