GW Grognard: #sorrynotsorry

Hey everyone! Adam, from TFG Radio, here again for this week’s grumbling!

For those that don’t know I play mainly competitive games. I play in Rogue Trader Tournaments, leagues, and Grand Tournaments. I play other game systems than 40K also. In each game system there are certain build, units, or models that are strong. So, in order to be competitive, you usually use whatever strong units you have available. It is assumed that anyone that attends the tournament, or other competitive event, that you are attending will be bringing their strongest list. There is, however, a certain type of player that, although they brought a hard as nails list, act in a very apologetic way, and that needs to stop!

I’m sure this isn’t OP at all

Usually, during the course of the game they will say things like this:

“Sorry man, I know that unit was important to you.”(the linchpin unit of your army just gets destroyed)

“Yeah, sorry, I know how the combo of stratagems just murders your army”

“Sorry, that was a bad set of dice rolls you made”

“Sorry about that. This army/unit/power is really good.”

The running theme through all this is that your opponent keeps on apologizing for basically pushing your shit in.  This, to me, is insulting and demeaning to their opponent.

Why are you sorry? Are you sorry that you crushed your opponent’s hopes and dreams for the tournament? Are you sorry that your opponent doesn’t get to move as many models as before? Or maybe you’re sorry because your special unit, or combo, was only able to kill only a third of your opponent’s army. You could also be sorry because you can’t kill more things because every model in your opponent’s army is already dead. In any case stop being a jerk.

You’re not sorry about anything you did to your opponent, so don’t pretend to be. You went to the competitive event with a hard list, intending to win, or at least make a good showing. You spoke with your friends, or teammates, about units and tactics that you could best use for your army. You spent the money and energy to acquire and build that special unit you just used to crush your opponent. You are trying to win the game and,  possibly, the tournament, so of course you are going to use everything at your disposal to achieve that. Why be sorry about it?

In the end it can come off as insulting, or disingenuous to your opponent. Your opponent is probably already feeling down because of what just happened. The added insult of you being sorry, and being sad about pushing your shit in, really doesn’t help your case and can cause a negative image of youcan make it seem like you did it on accident when you both know you have that really good unit/army for a reason. To win games.

You shouldn’t apologize for your army performing the way you want it to. You created the list, gathered the units, and practiced with it so that you have a good handle on how the army works.  You should be happy and proud when it all comes together as a small reward for the work you put into your army. I know I do, when it works, and don’t apologize when the odds are in my favor. It could also explain why I eat lunch alone  😉

Well, that’s it for this week. I hope you enjoyed.Don’t forget to visit our Facebook, Twitch, and Patreon pages to stay up to date on what we’re up to and when episodes drop!

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About Adam

Adam has been gaming since the early eighties and has played 40K since Rogue Trader (among a number of other games). He listens to more podcasts than any healthy person should and is currently a co-host for TFG Radio. He also is one of the head judges for LVO and other events.

8 Responses to “GW Grognard: #sorrynotsorry”

  1. A Rash Anion March 10, 2018 2:47 am #

    I don’t personally mind if people are frank with me, but some people at tournaments are easily upset. They will start grumbling and complaining, when they begin to lose, get mad, and inadvertently not play the game as quickly. This is immature and bad. Nonetheless, it has to be played around. My goal is to get all 6 rounds complete, and that may require salving some wounded nerd’s ego so he plays the game.

    Is it infantilizing and stupid I have to do this sometimes? Sure.

    But I’m here to win, and if that’s what it takes to deal with mega-salty 40k players, that’s what it takes.

    • rvd1ofakind March 10, 2018 11:42 am #

      Yay for chessclocks then

  2. WestRider March 10, 2018 9:06 am #

    I will commiserate when my opponent has a particularly awful set of dice rolls or something else that wasn’t part of what I was doing, but in a competitive setting, that’s the limit.

    The times I have apologized for my list are the times when it was supposed to be more casual, but I didn’t realize that my list was stronger than expected, because I didn’t realize how much synergy was in there before I actually used it, or it ended up being a really bad match-up for the opposing Army or something. But that’s for times when it was supposed to be a Narrative game, and my list is screwing up our narrative. Not for competition.

    • Adam S. March 10, 2018 1:51 pm #

      In a casual game it’s understandable

  3. Nalathani March 10, 2018 9:34 am #

    I’m guilty of this for sure. There are times when I probably shouldn’t apologize (Yes I am really happy I just passed 5 invulnerable saves in a row), but others when I feel genuinely bad for my opponent. Even though we are all trying to win, we are also trying to have fun while trying to win. last month I was at an RTT against a Tau player with 2 Stormsurges. He rolled almost entirely 2’s and 3’s the first round of combat in shooting, missing with practically everything. On the second round, I made 4 of 5 6+ saves against his heavy guns. I told him I was sorry about the dice, and I meant it. There was nothing demeaning in my words. He was going to get crushed because he was rolling shitty and I wasn’t, and there’s nothing he could have done about it.

  4. Reecius
    Reecius March 10, 2018 11:49 am #

    I pretty much always commiserate with my opponents but it is sincere, I really do empathize with them flubbing something important. I am happy it helps me win the game of course, but try to see it form the other person’s perspective, too.

    I think so long as you don’t come across as being fake then it is cool to do. Sincerity is what matters.

  5. Asmeralda March 10, 2018 7:15 pm #

    One thing I keep in mind is if my opponent starts the conversation. Some times the best thing to do is not say anything other than to offer the hand off friendship/sportsmanship and ask them if you could get them a drink. Staying quiet and giving your opponent time to process can lead to a better interaction. My first round opponent at Warzone did this. He had just tabled me and he waited for me to start the discussion. I did and we had a good post game discussion.

  6. Mike March 11, 2018 12:42 am #

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being openly sympathetic when the dice gods unleash the full old testament wrath on your opponent. Given that that is the part of the game that is out of either player’s control, it seems like a very civil gesture.

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