By the Emperor! – Issue #13

Tau Players rejoice as Richard Siegler wins LVO 2020

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – After watching an intense and hard fought 9 rounds, T’au players everywhere rejoiced in Richard Siegler’s 2020 LVO win. Available to comment more was LVO Attendee Jake Allenson, who was running T’au.

“Honestly the community is really excited,” said a beaming Jake on the Bally’s Casino hall floor. “It’s about time one of our number took LVO. Seriously, we T’au players get a lot of crap for being T’au players, and really what people are making fun of are those fringe players who just post gross anime pictures or terrible Gundam conversions but never play. Now, we actually have a paragon of the faction to point to and say ‘See him? He did it, and he’s one of us.'”

Jake continued on “I mean, we were all rooting for him and Brian Pullen. They’re both great guys and such ace players. When Brian got knocked out of the running, the community felt for him and thanked him for all he has done for T’au, but we then took that energy and rooted hard for Siegler.”

“I even played a game next to Siegler too! It’s so funny how we’re all just a bunch of nerds and yet we still approach our hobby idols as real celebrities. After that game I was able to track his progress via Best Coast Pairings, which I’m hearing from everywhere is just going to be called ‘Coast Pairings’ from now on?”

Jake concluded the interview by stating he was excited to see where Siegler would go next in ITC, and that “he’s never heard of Iron Hands, why would we ask him about Iron Hands, please stop asking him about Iron Hands, no Iron Hands aren’t better at shooting than T’au so stop asking”, all while his eye was twitching maniacally.


That concludes our broadcast day! To ask our staff or editor questions, feel free to email alium.cepa.bte@gmail.com, and get a chance to have your question answered in our monthly Letters to the Editor!

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About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.

2 Responses to “By the Emperor! – Issue #13”

  1. Michael Corr
    Michael Corr January 30, 2020 2:14 am #

    Best Coast Pairings to be renamed “Coast Pairings”, hahahahaha! Love it!

  2. Reecius
    Reecius January 30, 2020 10:28 am #

    Some lol’s to be had here for sure =)

Leave a Reply to Michael Corr