By the Emperor! – Issue #15

Chaos Player Blissfully Unaware Iron Hands Are Still Phenomenal

SACRAMENTO, CA – Going into an RTT after the recent February 2020 Space Marines Errata, it was confirmed that local Chaos player Eddie Gunderson is blissfully unaware how phenomenal Iron Hands still are on the tabletop.

“Oh man, I’ve been looking forward to this RTT since last month!” said Eddie, registering his email and faction on the Coast Pairings app and standard issue backup clipboard. “I can’t wait to smash some dumb marine players! Even better if they’re Iron Hands too. Oh yes! There’s two Iron Hands players here!!!”

Eddie cackled with glee and rubbed his hands in a plotting manner. “I am so happy I get to be an edition where overpowered factions get their comeuppance. It was great to see it with Ynnari, and boy oh boy I’m happy to see Iron Hands just utterly gutted!”

“I mean, look at this guy’s list: Feirros, some future apothecary dude, 20 intercessors, WALKING Assault centurions? Laughable. A mortis dread (whatever THAT is) and only 1 chaplain dread? Wow. I mean, sure the eliminators are still good, but they don’t get their rerolls after turn 1 anymore, that list is basically terrible!”

Eddie sighed a contented sigh and continued. “All I know is, finally some other faction getting nerfed back to hell means that finally my issues with my gameplay are solved, specifically because it was never my own gameplay that caused my losses. Because, the imbalanced game was getting in the WAY of my gameplay! With that out of the way, I can finally show the ITC community how clever I am with my Slanneshi horde army with two BloodThirsters.”

As of the end of press time, after confirming that Eddie had lost his first round to a double paladin bomb Grey Knight list, Eddie could be heard screaming incoherently across the gaming hall when the aforementioned Iron Hands infantry list proved unkillable.


That concludes our broadcast day! To ask our staff or editor questions, feel free to email alium.cepa.bte@gmail.com

And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!

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About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.

One Response to “By the Emperor! – Issue #15”

  1. Avatar
    NinetyNineNo March 5, 2020 11:28 am #

    All kidding aside the Shiny Plaguebearer list does look like a potential problem balance-wise. I suppose it might meet its match against some of the hyper-optimized Eldar and Tau lists running around, though.

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