By The Emperor! – Issue #11

Less Qualified Hobby Store Employee charged with Overseeing AoS Inventory, Sales for Christmas Rush

CHEYENNE, WYOMING – While planning for the upcoming holiday employee schedule, managers at Cheyenne Hobbies confirmed they would be putting their lesser qualified employee in charge of the store’s AoS inventory and Christmas sales.

“Honestly, its a no-brainer decision that we’ve been making for the past 8 years,” said manager Chris Wightman. “Billy Froman’s a nice guy and all, but to have him oversee anything of actual value would result in disaster. We can’t have disasters during this important final push of sales and inventory, so we put him ‘in charge’ of the AoS inventory.”

Billy Froman (per Chris’s comments), while an enthusiastic and pleasant individual, unfortunately is not very qualified in most professional capacities. “Terrible as it sounds, we keep him on kind of as a charity case. There’s no way he’s qualified to actually work anywhere else, and at this point if we were to let him go I’m not sure he’d ever be able to find a job again.”

I know I know, it sounds pretty heavy handed,” explained Chris, “but it’s… it’s kind of true. I mean, he is very nice, and he’s not a terrible employee, usually. However, he really treads that line. It’s just confusing because he clearly does care about the store and the hobby, but like 65% of the time I’ll catch him playing MTG Online in the backroom when he should be cleaning or literally doing any part of his job.”

Chris sighed, scrunched his nose between his fingers, and then continued. “The great part honestly is we do need someone to oversee the AoS inventory, but we move so little of it that in all honesty any one of us could take it on in addition to our other work, no problem. But, we decided awhile back to let Billy manage it. It is something he can do, because it basically manages itself. Plus, it makes him feel important and useful, and I don’t want to take that away from him.”

“I mean, we do a lot to make him feel included. He offered several years ago to run the store’s hobby blog, without any ask for additional compensation. Considering we were actually thinking of closing down the blog in lieu of our more popular Hobby Streams via Twitch, we thought ‘why not let him run it’. So we give him an extra 5% on his employee discount, and we have a minimum quality blog for free. I mean, he offered to, so we didn’t feel too guilty not paying him extra. He call’s it ‘Froman’s Fro-down – With Billy Froman’, which is… cute I guess?”

Chris smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, what can you do, right? At the end of the day, I don’t feel guilty, because we’re giving this guy a job in an industry he seems to be pretty passionate about, and quite honestly we’re getting what we pay for, which thankfully isn’t much and is quite definitely capped. In the end, Billy’s a real nice guy most of the time, and we do all enjoy his company for the most part, so that’s our positive approach to the whole thing.”

Chris concluded the interview by confirming he had to go talk to Billy, who had just sent Chris a long, typo ridden email asking for a bigger budget, as he believed Idoneth Deepkin were going to see a sale surge and he wanted to be ready.

That concludes our broadcast day! To ask our staff or editor questions, feel free to email, and get a chance to have your question answered in our monthly Letters to the Editor!

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About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.

4 Responses to “By The Emperor! – Issue #11”

  1. Larks December 17, 2019 12:41 pm #

    Billy’s father Abe probably got him that sweet gig with a sausage bribe.

  2. Anggul December 17, 2019 2:54 pm #

    Billy’s right, Idoneth are beastly

    Just stock loads of eels

  3. WestRider December 17, 2019 3:31 pm #

    Any relation to Gordon Frohman?

  4. Jace December 17, 2019 4:26 pm #

    Hahaha, who at FLG is Froman? Whoooooo?

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