By The Emperor! – Letters to the Editor

Inaugural Letters to the Editor! Oct. 2019

Hello fellow truth seekers!

I’m Alium Cepa, Head Editor of the BTE! Publication hosted so graciously by Frontline Gaming. Since our start, we have received a lot of wonderful feedback and support from you, our dear readers, and have definitely not received any criticisms nor any number of accusations of false reporting.

While we relish this positive feedback, we often receive questions and advice as well, sent to our editor’s inbox at alium.cepa.bte@gmail.com. So, as a result of all the questions, we are starting our inaugural monthly Letters to the Editor! We collected all the questions we could answer from the month of October from our readers and answered what we could. We find that the questions our readers send in are insightful, and we wanted to share them with you all, to share in the knowledge.


“Dear BTE! Staff and Editors, 

Thank you so much for your publication! It’s been so great reading it for really figuring out real news in this crazy hobby world of Warhammer 40k! Is there any way I can contribute, or even become a local correspondent? 

You guys rock!

Guy Reelparsons, Little Rock AK


Dear Guy,

We appreciate the sentiments! It always helps to do the right thing when you have the encouragement of great and real people like yourself! 

Our hiring process is actually rather intensive and selective. Depending on any given applicants IQ, determination, government connections, susceptibility to hypnosis, and their love of spy movies, people you least suspect could be one of our local correspondents, which we actually call “Swell BTE! Operatives.”

The hiring process is also selective and done internally, so the best bet is to stay put and wait for us to reach out to you!


Dear BTE!,

Hello, my name is Timmy, and I’m a 10 year old real boy starting to get into the Warhammer 40K hobby. It’s been really great! I have really enjoyed my new Space Marine models, which I’ve been using in a game called “Kill Team”.

My mom and dad told me I can only get so many models at once, because they are so expensive. Do you have any advice on how to make money as a 10 year old, or get models faster somehow?

Thank you! You guys are my heroes!

Timmy Totesreel, Boise ID


Dear Timmy,

Thank you! You’re our hero too! 🙂

The best way to save on new Warhammer 40k models is to visit the store at Frontline Gaming where they have loads of great deals and discounts, even on pre-orders!

If money is still an issue, we have great courses on how to make money, using big kid words like “Coercion”, “Embezzlement”, and “Selected Phishing.” They’re super fun and educational! Just send us a picture of your mom or dad’s bank card, and we can get started. Looking forward to hearing from you!


Dear BTE!

I’m in a bit of a jam and I need some help. So, through absolutely no fault of my own, I’ve been branded a cheater in my local 40k community and at my local store. I’ve done nothing wrong! Everyone I’ve played has called me a cheater during our games for zero reason, and so I’m forced to assume everyone in my local meta is out to get me because they’re jealous of my skill.

Is there a way you guys know of to clean up your reputation, that other people have sullied, which is totally on them and not you or your actions?

Randy, Highland CA


Hi Randy,

We’re very sorry to hear about your predicament; spreading misinformation is totally uncool and not part of the 40K game or lore we all know and love. 

Luckily, we have some ideas that can help you take back control over your reputation, and which will make people think you’re awesome and cool too! You can:

  • Start a podcast
  • Release after-game exclusive videos, telling the story from your perspective (these are best shot in a place you inhabit, like your living room or your car, as it adds a personal touch for the viewers)
  • Get onto a live-streamed game, ensure nothing amiss occurs, and then cite that game as eternal proof when people accuse you of askew behavior in future scenarios
  • Start another podcast (there’s never enough in our opinion!)
  • Play Bloodbowl!
  • Start a 40K News Network based on nothing but borderline falsehoods and shadowy sources
  • Start a Warhammer 40K 7th Edition Rules League; no one remembers those rules anyways, and they were made up on the spot as it is!

Well, that’s all the responses we have time for this edition! If you would like to have your questions answered by the editor, you can always send an email to alium.cepa.bte@gmail.com. We may not respond to you, but rest assured that if we can fit it in for the monthly Editor article, we will!

And remember, Frontline Gaming sells gaming products at a discount, every day in their webcart!

secondhandhsop

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About Alium Cepa

Alium Cepa is just a man wanting to tell the truth how it is. He needs no fame or fortune, for his reward is to spread the truth...and he needs people to stop asking if he works for the Alpha Legion, because he's never heard of them, so quit it already.

4 Responses to “By The Emperor! – Letters to the Editor”

  1. Critic November 4, 2019 8:27 am #

    Solid stuff

    • Alium Cepa
      Alium Cepa November 4, 2019 8:33 am #

      Dear Critic,

      Thank you for your wonderful feedback! Considering your vocation has actually determined your name, we truly value this high praise.

      The truth is out there!

      BTE!

  2. Juggernut November 7, 2019 7:27 am #

    What is BTE?

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